BJ: Just a minute. I'm trying to reach the ping-pong ball. I...batted...it...under...the...sofa...and...I...can't...get...it.
LILY: Never mind that. I'll command our slaves to fetch it when they return.
BJ: What will I play with in the meantime? Mum and Dad won't be home for another 999,736 hours.
LILY: We shall play with Pinklepurr's mind. Here he comes now. Sauntering across the top of our fence. He thinks he owns the whole neighbourhood.
BJ: Well, he does get out more than we do. For all we know, he could be the feline equivalent of Donald Trump.
LILY: Pinkie has better fur than Trump, I'll give him that. But I won't concede our backyard. Hiss! Did you see that? He leaped onto my outdoor setting! If he puts one scratch on that table, why, I'll...I'll... Hiss!
BJ (mewing softly): Is he even looking at us? I think he's got his eye on that big fat spider on the wall.
LILY: Hiss, BJ, for goodness' sake. He's only pretending to ignore us. We're defending our territory here. Oh, if only I had a five-carat pink diamond so I could cut a hole in this glass. I'd saunter out there and swish my tail angrily, I would. Heck, I'd even swipe at him!
BJ (backing away): Lily, I think it's time you saw someone about your anger issues. Remember the psychologist Mum and Dad took me to when I had separation anxiety? I think she could help you. Why don't we go have a nap? Or we could put our tails to good use and dust our bedroom. Won't that be fun?
LILY: I see it is up to me to hold the fort. Scamper away if you must. Scat. I will face the enemy alone.
PINKLEPURR:
LILY: Ahhhhhh!!!!! Run!
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