BJ: Don't you think Mum and Dad will notice if we swipe a bottle of Bollinger?
LILY: BJ, this wine rack is in our living room. It belongs to us. They'll be so pleased to see us when we get home that they'll have no idea half their collection is missing. But if you're that paranoid, I shall dispatch one of the substitute slaves to the bottle shop for another case.
BJ: OK. What are we celebrating, anyway? Oh, I know! It's Gay Mardi Gras time! Or, as those in the know call it, Gay Christmas. I really hope we can get out and see Olivia Newton-John's show. She's performing at 3am. Apparently she's gonna sing Xanadu! Oh, I'm so excited! I bet she'll wear her rollerskates.
LILY: I must make sure V doesn't let you out in the daytime again. All that sun must've fried your furry little brain, BJ. The reason why we're popping the cork is that I think our parents are getting married today.
BJ: You think? You're not sure?
LILY: They forgot to leave us a calendar, so I'm using my powers of deduction.
BJ: Wow!
LILY (smugly): Yes, I know. I am smart.
BJ: No, I mean, wow! They're getting married!!!! Mum's probably looking really pretty in a fancy dress. I bet her gown's the same colour as our fur. And Dad, well, I hope that black suit I rolled on last week isn't the same one he's wearing for the wedding. I wish we could have been ring bearers at the ceremony, you know. I've seen dogs do that in movies and Australia's Funniest Home Video Show.
LILY: BJ, when will you learn? We're cats. Manual labour is for humans and canines. Hurry with the cork, would you? We haven't all day. We'll toast Mum and Dad now, and be sober by the time they come home. They'll never suspect a thing.
BJ: Happy wedding day, Mum and Dad!
LILY: Mwah, mwah, mwah, Mum and Dad! BJ, we can always put the Veuve Clicquot on ice if it turns out today isn't the day...
2 comments:
Lily & BJ sounds like you've been having the time of your (nine) lives with your parents away. They are missing you, but you'd be pleased to know that you made a guest appearance at their wedding (courtesy of an icing statue replica - pink and blue collars included). They will give you a sniff and lick when they get home. A message from your parents - less of the hissing at V and more purrs of gratitude. However, don't trust Pinklepurr and Possum - Pinkie has been bulking up by doing pull ups on the 28-30 bar and Possum will seduce you with her disarming smile and eloquence - they are cunning and mischievous and will soon be running the neighbourhood.
Congratulations, R and S!!!!!!!! Can't wait to see the statue!
xxx V
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