Operation Homecoming

The cats prepare for a joyous family reunion...

BJ: All systems go, Lily?

LILY: Mind-control beacon...activated! Our humans are now consumed with thoughts of home. They're due to arrive any day.

BJ: I must say replacing the diamond in Mum's engagement ring with the beacon was pure genius on your part.

LILY: It was a simple exercise. I swapped the rocks as she lay asleep and helpless on our couch a few weeks ago. Little do the humans know I've monitored their every move across the Tasman. I believe they've had their fill of fun and freedom. It's time they came home.

BJ: Hear, hear! V and F proved themselves satisfactory substitutes, but there's nothing like snuggling with your own flesh and blood.

LILY: You can't say I didn't try to convince F and V we needed double the prescribed dose of Whiskas. It pains me to admit my mind-control program has a few kinks.

BJ: It certainly was easy enough to get V to clean our bathroom, wash our bowls and let us out for R&R in the backyard every day, though.

LILY: It's clear V's under our spell to some degree. She didn't even bat an eyelid when you accidentally jumped on her head this afternoon.

BJ: I had to get to the roast duck casserole before you gobbled it all.

LILY: Ah, that was the best meal I ever regurgitated.

BJ: We've had an overwhelming response to the blog poll. Two votes in favour of you and Pinkie burying the hatchet. Not a single 'no' vote!

LILY (sniffing): It's rigged. Besides, the poll is still open. Anything can happen during the election campaign. Check out the new publicity photo I've approved. I look earnest, honest and, most importantly, adorable, oui?



BJ: Why do our heads look so disproportionately large in these photos?

LILY: I don't mind. My face is my best feature. Hey, get a load of Pinklepurr's head shot. Why, I think he's reading a romance novel!

BJ: Hmm, I do believe that's a book by the wonderful Annie West. He has impeccable taste.

LILY (thinking): Must continue mind-control experiments on BJ asap.