The Language Barrier

LILY: Je voudrais une plus grande chambre.

BJ: Que?

LILY (flatly): "I would like a bigger room." You haven't studied the French phrasebook like I asked.

BJ: You're not the boss of me, Lily. I'm real smart about this "expanding our minds" kick. I've found a way to watch TV and learn a language at the same time.

LILY: But we're supposed to be learning the same language--preferably conversational French.

BJ: I want to learn Spanish. I've learnt so much from Go Diego Go and Dora the Explorer already. Listen--Voy a comprar cigarros. No tengo ninguno.

LILY: Meaning?

BJ: "I am going to buy cigarettes. I haven't any."

LILY: Merde! You don't even smoke. Plus, there's no way I'm letting you spend all our pocket money on that stuff.

BJ: I have an idea. Why don't I speak to you in Spanish, and you talk back in French? What do you say?

LILY: El gato loco is what I say.

BJ: Habla español?!!! You've been holding out on me, Lily.

LILY: Only to amuse myself.

Later...

LILY: Bonsoir, V! We would like to dine now. Vous me comprenez? Do you understand?

BJ: Hola, V! I'm Diego. This is Baby Jaguar. And we're animal rescuers. Can you say rescate?

LILY: Ooh, I think she had salmon sushi for lunch. I'll give her an air kiss so I can get a closer whiff. Oui, poisson! Quelle odeur douce!

BJ: Poison?!

LILY: I said fish in French. Silly. Get a look at yourself in the mirror. You're white as a ghost.

BJ: Si. Pescados. Mmm. She's getting the food out. Let's go see what she's serving tonight, Lily. ¡Vámonos!